The Last Soda Can
by Noname the Weird
Summary: On a dark and stormy night, Gaz finds out there are no more sodas! She blames on Dib and chases after him to get revenge for the soda. Has a corny twist in the end!


The Last Soda Can

A Corny Suspense Story

A/N: Hee Hee. Listening to Ayumi Hamasaki is fun! Anyway, sorry for the delay for everything I've written. I've been so overloaded with homework these days. I just wrote this for my English class. It takes place near the beginning of "The Nightmare Begins" and is an extended version of Dib's first appearance. If it's too corny for you or Gaz is too OOC, blame my English teacher :P. Ooh, I like this song, Evolution… Umm… Yeah. Anyhow here's the story:

***

It was a dark and stormy night. 

OK, so it always was a dark and stormy night around here, but I had to start with something, right? Anyway, to the point. It was an almost perfect night: Mr. Elliot actually gave us no homework, I've just ordered a pizza from Bloaty's Pizza Hog, and to top it off, "When Rabid Squirrels Attack" was on. There was just one thing missing…

"Oh yeah…" I said as realization dawned on me. "A soda…"

So I got off the couch and walked to the kitchen, which was conveniently next to the living room. Dad greeted my entrance: I just grunted. He was doing some weird experiment to the toaster. Not liked I cared or anything; that was just normal to what he usually does. I then opened the refrigerator and stared at it for thirty seconds.

There were no sodas.

"WHERE ARE THE SODAS?!" I screamed with anguish when I finally understood the horror that happened. I searched in every cupboard. Nothing. I looked under the fridge. Still nothing. Heck, I even checked inside the microwave just in case. Completely nothing. It took me one whole minute to understood what really happened…

"WHO DRANK THE LAST SODA?!" I finally yelled. As I twitched uncontrollably, I muttered the following words:

"Whoever drank the last soda and dared to mess with me, Gaz, will pay dearly. And there's only one person who would be stupid enough to do such a crime…"

Dad turned around.

"Daughter, are you OK?

I gave him a mad stare.

"I thought so…" He then turned back to the toaster.

***

My brother Dib has a very big head and a very small body. On top of his very big head was a mop of black hair. Huge spectacles covered his amber eyes. And for some reason he always wears a trench coat and a pair of black boots. Go figure. He is also one of those paranormal freaks that believes in aliens, Bigfoot, ghosts, whatever. That's why he's the most annoying person I've ever met. And annoying people live on sodas. Of course, there's one exception… and that's me.

I was going to go upstairs and to the roof, where my idiotic brother was checking for alien signals or anything like that. Surprisingly, I didn't need to; he was running down the stairs panicking.

"THEY'RE COMING!" Dib screamed. He ran into the kitchen and tugged on Dad's lab coat. "Dad! They're coming! I heard them. I actually HEARD them! I was up on the roof and-"

Dad pushed him away. "Shtshtsht! I'm making…"

A dramatic pause.

"TOAST!" Dad said triumphantly as he lifted a slice of toast into the air.

"That's what you've been working on for the past two weeks? A slice of toast?" Dib inquired.

"Magnificent, isn't it?" Dad said as if he had just invented the time machine. He then turned his back on us and continued working. 

"Uh-huh." I said. "Magnificent. Right…"

Dib suddenly grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me hard. "Gaz! They're coming!" He warned me. "They really are…"

I pushed him away and raised an eyebrow. "Who's coming?" I asked him suspiciously.

Dib paused, then looked up to the gray ceiling. "I… Don't know…" He then finally admitted. Dib started to walk away, when I suddenly remembered something…

"Dib! You drank the last soda, didn't you?" I asked in a dangerous voice.

He spun around and faced me. "No." Dib replied quickly with a nervous look on his face. Before he walked away, I noticed a dark spot on his cerulean blue shirt. It was hard to know it was even there, but I definitely saw it. And at that moment, there was only one cause for that in my mind.

"Dib." I said menacingly. 

"Y-Yeah?" He asked timidly.

"You are _so _going to die…"

Suddenly, Dib sprinted for the door and ran outside, screaming in pure terror. I followed him, also screaming, except in anger. And if you could listen carefully at that moment, you would be able to hear Dad saying "My poor insane children…"

***

It has been about thirty minutes since I began to chase the boy with a soda-stealing heart. We were now in downtown, and because of the excessive amount of people there, it was harder to pursue him. Sometimes I was even stuck between a group of people and was literally carried away, giving Dib a chance to run away. And sometimes it was him who got stuck, giving me a chance to catch up to him. Eventually, I hunted him down to the local park. By that time, we were walking instead of sprinting.

"Dib," I gasped, "you are still going to pay… After I catch my breath…"

"Only, gasp, if you catch-" He never finished the sentence, since he fell to the ground. There, he fell asleep. Seeing this as a chance to ultimately get him, I attempted to walk over to where he was. It was too bad that I tripped over a rock and fell to the ground face first. All of a sudden, I heard an evil laughter coming from above me. I stood up and gasped.

It was a rabid squirrel… and it was holding the last soda can with both of its paws.

"You…" I said with a snarl.

"Haha, yes me." It said with an evil grin.

"You little-" I was cut off because of lost of breath. I then fell to my knees trying to catch my breath because of all that chasing. The evil rodent cackled maniacally again.

"You're pathetic." The squirrel told me. "Just loosing a soda makes you panic. And you always insist on avenging it, even though it does nothing to make you better."

"Yes it does." I muttered. "It makes me feel better."

"That's it? It makes you feel better?" It laughed a bit more. "I bet your brother feels the same way, too. One day, he will get revenge on you. Then you will want to fight back. Soon, it will become a big war, making both you worse and worse each day, eventually leading to your deaths. Hee hee, but don't worry, you aren't alone! All of humanity is like this. They'd do anything to get revenge. Anything… Anything… Any-"

***

Suddenly I woke up. _Thank goodness it was just a dream._ I thought to myself as I stood up from the sofa. The TV was on, and the doorbell was ringing. "Probably the pizza delivery man." I muttered as I walked to the door.

It wasn't, it was actually Dib in panic mode. "Gaz! They're-"

"Coming, they really are." I finished for him. 

Dib looked at me curiously. "How did you know?"

"Just a hunch."

"Oh, OK then." He then ran to Dad to warn him of whoever's coming.

I walked over to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. There were no sodas left. I twitched. "Dib drank the last soda." I uttered under my breath. "He will-" All of a sudden I stopped. I then decided to forget it and grabbed a juicebox instead.

****

THE END


End file.
